Mark's Adventure

Backpacking

2006-07-03T04:56:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 2 this morning remembering a backpacking trip to the minarets in the majestic high Sierra when I was in Junior High.
I was part of the Downey free Methodist youth group led by John Rameriez, Al Derhog and Mr. Mottwheiller. Before we could attempt the rigors of the high sierra a few preparatory hikes were required. The first was a local weekend trip to the San Gabriel Mountains. We were to go to Henninger’s Flats above Alta Dena. I remember assembling the gear with such pride.. I had a red aluminum external framed backpack that I got from my brother Doug and my brother John had sent his old Svea 123 white gas stove. I needed a sleeping bag and pad so my dad took me to Big 5 sporting goods on Firestone Blvd to get the bag one Saturday before our trip. I remember how uncomfortable I was standing there looking at the sleeping bags hanging from a rack not knowing what to get or how much of dad’s money I could spend. Although I wanted the goose down mummy, I settled for a red Holofill II bag with nylon lining and a blue closed cell foam pad.

We assembled early Saturday morning at the church on Florence Rd and drove up to Alta Dena in the church van. I think it was a 66’ Dodge. The hike was a relentless up hill march on a fire road for 3 and ½ miles with no shade. It was hot and dusty, but the views from the road over looked Pasadena and gave me the feeling of escaping the confines of the city. The camp site had a large cinderblock firebox where I set up that old Svea stove.

The Svea 123R was a light weight brass white gas torch that could boil water in a few minutes and was capable of operating at high altitudes much better than the Gaz propane stove my friends had. The thing about the old Svea that made it cool was that had to be primed. This involved pouring out a small amount of fuel into the small depression at the top of the fuel reservoir, igniting the gas and letting it heat the fuel in the stove to make vapor in order to operate. The valve was opened by a little key on the side. I opened the valve a little before I struck the match so that the stove would self start after the prime died down. I was delighted and startled by the big “poof” and the engulfing fire ball surrounding the little stove as I jumped back. The fire ball quickly diminished and the Svea came roaring to life. At first the fuel vapors were not yet hot enough to stay as vapor so the stove would spew out some liquid which was ignited in a ball of flame and black smoke. After about a minute the torch would blow blue jets through the flame spreader and the pot of water could be set once the 4 swivel pot rest were all turned out the right way. What a great stove for a 13 year old boy to have

That first night in a tent in the woods that I shared with Gary Hall, I barely slept because the howling coyotes prowled in my imagination.

My second trip was a training hike near Mt San Jacinto between Hemet and Palm Springs. It was a holiday weekend and we had a large group that was going. Our destination was Round Valley and the group had split in two. The rugged types who aspired to pack it in would ascend to round valley through the town of Idylwild and a trail called the Devil’s Slide while the “girls” would take the tram from Palm Springs to Long Valley and make the easy traverse to round valley. I threw on my red pack and started the ascent of devil’s slide. It wasn’t long before I realized I felt sick. Each step brought a jarring pain in my head and my stomach became nauseated. Soon I was bringing up the rear and then I was the pathetic sick kid that had to stop. The group pressed on and I was left with a couple of adults who took my gear to aid me in getting to the top. After my progress slowed to using the rest step - a technique used in ascending Everest - I finally gave up. One of our leaders Mr Mottwheiller had to be summoned to come back for me. He walked me back down the defeat of devil’s slide to his truck at the trail head. He asked if I wanted to go home or would I like to ride the tram and hike the easy trail. I chose the tram then proceeded to puke all the water I guzzled in a hot gas station parking lot near Palm Springs. We drove up to the tram and I struggled through the easy trail.

The big trip came. It was the 4^th of July weekend we crammed into that church van and hit the road for a 6 hour drive north. We were heading to Lake Ediza in the minarets in the high sierra, the big time. This was a real backpacking adventure. The trail would take us up past Shadow Lake at 8800 feet to Lake Ediza at over 10,000 feet beneath Mt. Ritter and Mt. Banner which tower at over 13,000 feet. The snow was heavy that year and our way above Shadow Lake was blocked by many retreating snow drifts. I once again got sick as I hiked but this time there was no going the easy way. I just brought up the rear with last adult and stumbled into camp at the lake. Our camp was close to the shore in a small area that was free of snow. There were mounds of snow and trickling brooks of snowmelt around our tent. The lake had many icebergs, it was beautiful. I was awestruck. Even with the constant pounding in my temples and the nausea, I was glad to be there. That became my standard backpacking experience; sick and awestruck.

Pinhoti Trail from Snake Creek Gap

2006-04-02T05:31:00.000-07:00

Charles and I started loading the car a little after 6am in the dark in the rain wondering if our decision to ride this morning was stupid. We pressed on partly because the weather radar showed hope, and partly because it is rare for Charles and I to have the same day off with the time to ride and we don't like passing those up. As it is often we spent the ride in the car talking about what is going on in our lives. Charles remarked about the rain as we drove, remembering the first time we tried to ride Snake Creek Gap. It began to drip as we drove north and increase to a steady rain by the time we pulled into the trail head parking lot. The ride was a bust that day but the conversation was rich just the same. This morning however was the opposite. We drove north out of the rain. After we exited I-75 and began to head north on GA136 the beautiful pastoral countryside unfolded before us. After about 5 miles I remembered that I threw DM's digital camera into my bag. Ah ha! perfect we could record some photos from our day out.

Along GA 136 (I do have to give credit where it is due: Charles took almost all the photos posted here.)

From the trail head parking lot

The begining climb

I got a little wet

It got better.

You looked different

2006-03-05T04:56:00.000-08:00

You looked different than I thought. Somehow my expectation was a ruggedly handsome Hollywood type with a tender side and a steely gaze that would captivate. Yet Isaiah described you the same way I would have described myself ’nothing to see hear’.

Who believes what we've heard and seen? Who would have thought GOD's saving power would look like this? The servant grew up before God--a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field. There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look. He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand One look at him and people turned away We looked down on him, thought he was scum. But the fact is, it was our pains he carried--  our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures. But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him--our sins! He took the punishment, and that made us whole. Through his bruises we get healed.

But wait, you have taken on my disfigurement? You have carried away all the things wrong with me? Through your suffering I am healed? Whole?
We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost. We've all done our own thing, gone our own way.And GOD has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong, on him, on him He was beaten, he was tortured, but he didn't say a word. Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered and like a sheep being sheared, he took it all in silence. Justice miscarried, and he was led off-- and did anyone really know what was happening? He died without a thought for his own welfare,    beaten bloody for the sins of my people. They buried him with the wicked, threw him in a grave with a rich man, Even though he'd never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn't true. Still, it's what GOD had in mind all along, to crush him with pain. The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he'd see life come from it--life, life, and more life. And GOD's plan will deeply prosper through him Out of that terrible travail of soul, he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it.Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant, will make many "righteous ones," as he himself carries the burden of their sins Therefore I'll reward him extravagantly-- the best of everything, the highest honors--    Because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch, because he embraced the company of the lowest.  He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many, he took up the cause of all the black sheep.
Out of that terrible travail of the soul you saw that it was worth it and you’re glad you did it. You made many righteous ones, many healed and whole ones. You have come to me, a black sheep, and taken up my cause. You are much different than I expected. You are not some distant and unapproachable celebrity. No, you show up and take my cause in small hours of the morning. You speak to me in the voice of a friend.  You hold me in arms of love. You open my eyes to see myself as no longer disfigured.

So Im sitting here

2006-02-19T14:28:00.000-08:00

So I’m sitting here at the computer on a cold gray day listening to KRAK internet radio which plays grunge 24/7 and drinking a beer. This brings to mind memories of a life that once was my own. I used to live in Seattle drinking beer on cold gray Sundays listening to grunge; pissed off at the Man. It feels so different now. I used to think that pissed off guys singing about the Man’s boot on their neck was finally something real or at least something angry which felt good. I don’t live in Seattle anymore and I don’t think listening to angry guys is ‘real’. These days I work for the Man and I eat my lunch at my desk. Maybe I’m a sellout. I have long since cut off my mullet and enjoy listening to ‘solo piano radio.com’ where the tag line is ‘music that quiets your world’. So I don’t know what brings me back to Hole singing ‘someday you’ll ache like I ache’ because I don’t ache that way any more. Maybe it was putting my dad in the chair and forgiving him or maybe it was by given life with my beautiful daughter Catri or by learning to ride a mountain bike with Charles or by holding my wife in bed on a Sunday morning that broke my experience of life as an affliction. I wouldn’t want to do it over again but, I am glad that the result of this ‘dry run’ will be ‘being real’ and connected to God and the people around me.
I changed the station to solo piano radio and thought about a passage from Isaiah 50 that reminded me of Charles. I say that because Charles and I have this waking up early in the morning with a feeling that my beard is plucked out by lies and accusations in common. I know this is talking about Jesus and yet I can see the echo in others lives.
The Master, GOD, has given me a well-taught tongue, So I know how to encourage tired people. He wakes me up in the morning, Wakes me up, opens my ears to listen as one ready to take orders. The Master, GOD, opened my ears, and I didn't go back to sleep, didn't pull the covers back over my head. I followed orders, stood there and took it while they beat me, held steady while they pulled out my beard, Didn't dodge their insults, faced them as they spit in my face. And the Master, GOD, stays right there and helps me, so I'm not disgraced. Therefore I set my face like flint, confident that I'll never regret this. My champion is right here. Let's take our stand together! Who dares bring suit against me? Let him try! Look! the Master, GOD, is right here. Who would dare call me guilty? Look! My accusers are a clothes bin of threadbare socks and shirts, fodder for moths! Who out there fears GOD, actually listens to the voice of his servant? For anyone out there who doesn't know where you're going, anyone groping in the dark, Here's what: Trust in GOD. Lean on your God!
What has changed? Besides the radio station, I guess it is peace. I’m at peace because now I know ‘The Man’ actually likes me.

The Plan

2006-01-29T05:18:00.000-08:00

I received a letter from an attorney on behalf of Catri’s mom requesting last year’s W-2 to adjust child support. As a result I imagined the following scene.

I lived in a small house in the country and One day I got the letter that I described above in my mailbox. I went into my house and read it. My mind went into panic mode “What are you going to do now?” the question came. I didn’t know. Then accusatory thoughts and questions started and all the “what ifs…”. I thought, I must plan a defense. So I got large sheets of blank paper about 2 feet on a side and I started the flow charts with all the boxes describing the ‘what ifs’. I created spread sheets to make the financials somehow work. What was the worse case scenario? Could I exit this moving car without getting hurt? I had to plan. I drew diagrams. I wrote furiously. I started writing scripts; dialogs with Toni, dialogs with lawyers, even dialogs with my boss. The plan had grown. I worked out contingencies including job assignments, selling and buying houses, college funds, camera equipment funds, mount bike stuff that I hope to have, new car someday fund, could I afford vacation? The plan grew with more sheets of paper. The sheets covered the floors and taped to the walls and soon the covered the windows and doors. If only I could think of every contingency every angle. I began to despair as looked at this colossal confusion. I saw that there were items on one wall that connected to things on the floor and others that connected from wall to window across the house. I took string and taped it to the paper where I saw these connections and soon there was a web through my small house.

I called for Jesus to rescue me from this nightmare. He was outside my house and he called to me. Even though he was outside I could hear him inside me as if there were a speaker inside me.
Come out he said.
There is crap all over the house and it is blocking the door.
Do you think you can really figure this out? Let me take this burden, he said
You’re right and I tore down the papers and piled them in a large box. I wheeled the box to road for the trash. I looked at Jesus. I might do this again.
I will always call for you to come out, he said.

Adventure news!
I went on a ride Friday on the Pinhoti trail starting from Mack White gap. I had seen on the map that the trail had climbed along a ridge top to the “The Narrows Lookout”. That sounded like a fun trail with great views. Unfortunately Charles was out of town and couldn't go. The trail started by crossing US27 and climbed steeply up a utility easement. It turn on to a double track (old road bed) and continued up the ridge. This ended on a forest service road that went up and dow for a few miles, more up than down. The trail dumped back on to a double track and follow the ridge upward. The forest was mostly oak so the trees were bare, so there were views looking to the east over the valley below. The trail went through a clearing and turned to the right and descended a heavily leaf covered path to a creek. I crossed the creek and stopped. Here is the shelf fungus I saw on the log. This was the low point on the trail. There would be a series of climbs as the trail ascended the ridge to reach the high point a the Narrows lookout. I pressed on at a conservative pace, stopping to remove sticks that were picked by my chain or wheel and lodged in the spokes or the derailleur. As I crested the ridge top I began to see views to the west and the ridge top narrowed I could see both east and west. The trail turned of othe ridge and started steeply descending. After a few hundred yards I realized I had missed the turn to the tower. I back tracked and found the old way trail to the top. I arrived at the prize destination to discover the tower had long since been torn down. All that remained was a foundation bolt protruding from the ground. I thought of the scene in “Spinal Tap” were the band was on the way out and could only afford a small scale model of Stonehenge as prop. I recalled the line “The dwarf nearly trod on it”.
I ate the beef jerk and cheese I brought. I checked the time and realized that I had to meet DM to go to the OB in 2 hours and 40 minutes. I turned toward the car and pedalled hard… We were about 15 minutes late to the appointment.

Idol makers

2006-01-23T16:56:00.000-08:00

Here is an excerpt from Isaiah 44 that spoke to me.
Lover of Emptiness
All those who make no-god idols don't amount to a thing, and what they work so hard at making is nothing. Their little puppet-gods see nothing and know nothing--they're total embarrassments! Who would bother making gods that can't do anything, that can't "god"? Watch all the no-god worshipers hide their faces in shame. Watch the no-god makers slink off humiliated when their idols fail them. Get them out here in the open. Make them face God-reality.
    The blacksmith makes his no-god, works it over in his forge, hammering it on his anvil--such hard work! He works away, fatigued with hunger and thirst.
    The woodworker draws up plans for his no-god, traces it on a block of wood. He shapes it with chisels and planes into human shape--a beautiful woman, a handsome man, ready to be placed in a chapel. He first cuts down a cedar, or maybe picks out a pine or oak, and lets it grow strong in the forest, nourished by the rain. Then it can serve a double purpose: Part he uses as firewood for keeping warm and baking bread; from the other part he makes a god that he worships--carves it into a god shape and prays before it. With half he makes a fire to warm himself and barbecue his supper. He eats his fill and sits back satisfied with his stomach full and his feet warmed by the fire: "Ah, this is the life." And he still has half left for a god, made to his personal design--a handy, convenient no-god to worship whenever so inclined. Whenever the need strikes him he prays to it, "Save me. You're my god."
    Pretty stupid, wouldn't you say? Don't they have eyes in their heads? Are their brains working at all? Doesn't it occur to them to say, "Half of this tree I used for firewood: I baked bread, roasted meat, and enjoyed a good meal. And now I've used the rest to make an abominable no-god. Here I am praying to a stick of wood!"
    This lover of emptiness, of nothing, is so out of touch with reality, so far gone, that he can't even look at what he's doing, can't even look at the no-god stick of wood in his hand and say, "This is crazy."
Even though I don’t carve idols nor do the people around me I thought of this in a more obvious way; trusting in accomplishments as identity. I have experienced the emptiness trusting in the job or trusting in photography or trusting in an epic bike ride or trusting in a close friendship for meaning.
Last night DM and I watched ‘Before Sunset’ which was the sequel to ‘Before Sunrise’. Before Sunrise is a hopeful romantic story of a young man and a woman who meet on a train. They connect and spend the entire night walking through Vienna present to each other in the moment. The sequel is 9 years later; they meet again in Paris. For a few hours they walk through the streets looking back on what had happened in their lives and how they see things through experience. ‘Before Sunset’, in contrast, was a more painful looking back at disappointment. How each had strived to find meaning and purpose and ended in despair or numbness. Yet, there remained a guarded and unquenchable longing for love and meaning. In the scene in the café where they discuss desire, Jesse asked Celine if she thought it was true if you never wanted anything would you never be unhappy? Celine responds isn’t that a symptom of depression? She continued “I feel really alive when I desire more than those basic survival needs. Wanting, whether it is intimacy with another person or a new pair of shoes is kind of beautiful. I like that we have those ever renewing desires.”
No matter how much I would try to manage this life to achieve meaning it remains elusive. Still the desire for meaning is ever renewing and it is this desire that pulls me toward my heavenly Daddy. The experience of freedom doesn’t come from the absence of desire but in the cessation at looking outward to what I have done or made to find it. The desire is fueled and sustained by looking inward where Christ lives.
I thought of this passage in II Corinthians 10 in contrast to the vain workers described in Isaiah 44.
The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way--never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

I used to see this passage in the light of trying to capture every thought for Christ. Now I see that I am not alone. It is Christ’s presence that is fitting every thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of a life shaped by Christ.

Drawing on the right

2006-01-15T18:00:00.000-08:00

Drawing on the right side

Tonight we had DM’s mom, DJ over to teach us about how to draw from the right side of the brain. The exercise showed me that drawing from the right side was giving attention to what I was observing without labeling, comparing or critiquing the work my eye and hand collaborated on. In the “Mona Lisa” exercise we took a line drawing of the Mona Lisa and turned it upside down and copied what we saw. There was a rhythm in drawing the curves on the paper. Instead of hearing a voice that said “the hands are all wrong” or being distressed that I went outside the lines; I just drew. I relaxed and as Donna said time went away. Here is how the drawing turned out

I’m not sure what to do with this right side life but I will post more as it unfolds.

Ungame

2006-01-09T17:45:00.000-08:00

Last night during life group we picked ungame cards read the question and gave short answers. My question was “what age would you like to be?” I suppose there are different ways one could answer such a question. My first thought was I would like to have the body of a twenty something but, God no; I wouldn’t want to live through that crap again. So my answer was that I would just stay where I am.
When I got up this morning I was thinking about this again. I remember fantasizing about being in my twenties with my current knowledge. I could easily be rich I mused Microsoft and Cisco Systems would be my ticket to wealth. I thought also of bad relationships I could avoid and good ones I could save and maybe for once say the right thing at the right time. I fantasized all my shoulda coulda woulda would be gone because now I could fix them. Wait! I realized that I would only screw things up in new ways. That now my shoulda fixed it; coulda made it better would only haunt me worse because I knew and I still did… or didn’t do the right thing. I could see that I was basing the meaning and value of my life on my performance and my judgment. I was acting like god, a very small and petty god.
So this morning I thought not about going back into my past with god knowledge but with God dependence. If I could impart to myself the understanding of my dependence upon Christ as life what would my life look like? I imagined going back and having a relationship with my dad. Maybe I could tell him that I was hurt. Maybe I could have listened to his heart. Perhaps I would have avoided pain that I suffered from all that angry running I did as a young man. Yet it was through that pain and that running that the grace of Christ captured me.
I think about the message Charles shared at midtown that there is eternity before me to experience this God dependence and many relationships to have. So I guess I will stay with my age but for different reasons. Instead of looking back with regret, I can look forward with hope and honestly say “well I’m not getting any older.”

early morning post

2006-01-07T02:45:00.002-08:00

It is early morning on saturday. I was awakened at 3:30 by DM blowing her nose loudly. As I was trying to get back to sleep my thoughts went to posting in the blog. For the last couple of days i have struggled with lies about my lack of adventure. It has sounded something like this;

So this is what you call an adventure? Alarm at 5:30 to get up for... work where you really accomplish so little. I mean, who really cares what you do anyway? You sit at your desk and eat left-overs for lunch. You drive home to a sick, tired and pregnant wife and make dinner. You clean up the dishes then maybe read or surf the internet then go to bed just so you can do the same thing again the next day. Your 44 years old. you have a baby on the way which requires your support. You will do the same thing for the next 23 years. In fact you really only are just a paycheck to Gwennan and Catri and Donna Marie. You can just suck it up or maybe you should just chuck it all. Why not have a real adventure full of travel and mountain bike riding and freedom tons of freedom ...
At this point I drift into a daydream of some cool adventure to experience.
Of course this makes me miserable. I have cried out to my Father to rescue me from this place of despair.
Yesterday while driving home from work I was listening to Isaiah 36 & 37. The Spirit spoke to me through the story told in this passage. Here is a paraphrase.
The King of Assyria went to destroy Jerusalem. He sent his general to meet emissaries from King Hezekiah. The Assyrian general gives this amazing speech of lies from the enemy for the purpose of causing despair for God's children. Here are a few excerpts
"What kind of backing do you think you have against me? ⁵You're bluffing and I'm calling your bluff. Your words are no match for my weapons. What kind of backup do you have now that you've rebelled against me?
⁷And if you try to tell me, "We're leaning on our GOD," isn't it a bit late?

""And besides, do you think I came all this way to destroy this land without first getting GOD's blessing? It was your GOD who told me, Make war on this land. Destroy it.'"

, "Do you think my master has sent me to give this message to your master and you but not also to the people clustered here? It's their fate that's at stake. They're the ones who are going to end up eating their own excrement and drinking their own urine."

¹⁴Don't listen to Hezekiah's lies. He can't save you. ¹⁵And don't pay any attention to Hezekiah's pious sermons telling you to lean on GOD, telling you "GOD will save us, depend on it. GOD won't let this city fall to the king of Assyria.'

Of course the General offers a way of escape on his terms.

"Make peace with me. Come and join me. Everyone will end up with a good life, with plenty of land and water, ¹⁷and eventually something far better.

The people are shaken and despairing. They take their request to Isaiah and the King pray to God to deliver them from the mockers. God's response comes

²³""Who do you think you've been mocking and reviling

all these years?

Who do you think you've been jeering

and treating with such utter contempt

All these years?

The Holy of Israel!

²⁹Because of all your wild raging against me,

your unbridled arrogance that I keep hearing of,

I'll put my hook in your nose

and my bit in your mouth.

I'll show you who's boss. I'll turn you around

and take you back to where you came from.

God sent an Angel and killed 185,000 Assyrians in one night and sent the Assyrian King packing. When he got home and was praying to his god nisroch and two of his sons murdered him.

Through this story the Spirit reveal the voice of the enemy in my attack and his false promises of freedom. He makes empty threats to try and unseat me from depending on my Father; to get me into despair then offers promises of freedom if I will follow him.

As soon as I heard this story and the Spirit revealed the meaning in my life this week the attack stopped. The enemy sounds so threating and reasonable. So, it is such a comfort to see him being led away by a hookthough his nose to the place he came from. Father you have delivered me again.

2006-01-04T17:15:00.000-08:00

Today is Wednesday the 4th and I have been back at work for the second day. This was my 18th aerospace christmas break. It is a standard to have the week off between Christmas and New Years day. I very much enjoyed sleeping in and having very little to do. The past few months have been busy at work and home so, having little to do suited me. Being back at work is being back in the groove. For many years I have struggle at what do, almost as if I fight inside about being an engineer. Over the last 3 years I have settled in much more. I feel comfortable and confident doing what I do. At the same time I have a growing desire to explore other areas of life. Last summer the desire to take some cooking classes started within me. There is something satisfying about creating something and then eating it. Perhaps God had considered a giant cream puff instead of the earth. I'm sure he threw out the idea because the idea of eating something yummie really isn't as satisfying as sharing life. So, i guess part of my desire or satisfaction in cooking is sharing the crazy creations with people I love. I hope to be able to make many crazy and wonderful things to startle and delight people.
I made some Guiness-almond-ginger bread the other day even though the initials would be G.a.g. it was received well by the eaters present.

New Blog

2006-01-01T17:44:00.000-08:00

So I decided last night on new year's eve to start a blog and call it Mark's adventure. I'm not sure it will contain stories i call adventure like all day mountain bike epics or snowboarding pristine powder or even skateboarding some "no skating" parking deck. I'm thinking it is likely to be a bit more mundane. I thought I would call it an adventure because the whole notion of open communication seemed like an adventure, the kind that bring fear.

I thought i would start with a passage that I listened to this morning from Isaiah 7.

A Virgin Will Bear a Son
During the time that Ahaz son of Jothan, son of Uzziah, was king of Judah, King Rezin of Aram and King Pekah son of Remaliah of Israel attacked Jerusalem, but the attack sputtered out. When the Davidic government learned that Aram had joined forces with Ephraim (that is, Israel), Ahaz and his people were badly shaken. They shook like trees in the wind.
Then GOD told Isaiah, "Go and meet Ahaz. Take your son Shear-jashub (A-Remnant-Will-Return) with you. Meet him south of the city at the end of the aqueduct where it empties into the upper pool on the road to the public laundry. Tell him, Listen, calm down. Don't be afraid. And don't panic over these two burnt-out cases, Rezin of Aram and the son of Remaliah. They talk big but there's nothing to them. Aram, along with Ephraim's son of Remaliah, have plotted to do you harm. They've conspired against you, saying, "Let's go to war against Judah, dismember it, take it for ourselves, and set the son of Tabeel up as a puppet king over it.' But GOD, the Master, says,"It won't happen.Nothing will come of it Because the capital of Aram is Damascus and the king of Damascus is a mere man, Rezin. As for Ephraim, in sixty-five years it will be rubble, nothing left of it. The capital of Ephraim is Samaria,and the king of Samaria is the mere son of Remaliah. If you don't take your stand in faith, you won't have a leg to stand on." GOD spoke again to Ahaz. This time he said, "Ask for a sign from your GOD. Ask anything. Be extravagant. Ask for the moon!" But Ahaz said, "I'd never do that. I'd never make demands like that on GOD!" So Isaiah told him, "Then listen to this, government of David! It's bad enough that you make people tired with your pious, timid hypocrisies, but now you're making God tired. So the Master is going to give you a sign anyway. Watch for this: A girl who is presently a virgin will get pregnant. She'll bear a son and name him Immanuel (God-With-Us).

This spoke to me about my fear of speaking out or writing a blog. My enemies are critical voices that talk big but there's nothing to them. I hear my Father saying Mark, stand in faith on Me and watch Me overcome those enemies. He tires of my timid "Oh I don't want to ask for anything" attitude. I am fooled into believing that God is sitting back in his easy chair with his universal remote in hand watching Lawrence Welk. He only comments under his breath about me during some laxative commercial...

"Mark hmmm, ah yes Mark, Well he doesn't do a whole lot but i like the way he timidly asks for things. It sure makes it easy to give him the brush off."
I see God like Tim the enchanter... Oh great and powerful Tim, i can see that you are a busy man...
I sense that my Father wants me to ask extravagantly and even when i don't; His grace will provide the answer in Jesus, who is God with us. So here goes

Jan 1 2006
Sunday
We went to Midtown Church this morning. There was no planned music so, Marianne, who was visiting from New Jersey played a few hymns. I was a good start. My dear friend Charles (pictured on left)
spoke very clearly and beautifully about time, from man's perspective someting to fear amd from God's view something to celebrate. Charles inspired me to see my life not as a list of thing to do but in his words quoting Eph 2:10, as God's poem. I am his art. I have been made perfect and am being made perfect.

I thought about Corrie Ten Boom's example of a crown

Seen from our perspective our lives seem like a tangle of threads
From our Father's perspective - a perfect pattern, yet it is the same life